My Sunshine, my soulmate, my ex-boyfriend’s roomate

My Sunshine, my soulmate, my ex-boyfriend’s roomate

This man could be “the one”. I believe that he is the person that my husband wants for me. 

ANDREW: 32 years old. California boy, film studies grad, world traveler, musician, composer, snowboarder, surfer, championship swimmer…

By my definition, the total package.

Andrew is also Cameron’s roommate (who is now my ex-boyfriend and for lack of a better description, my enemy).

I haven’t seen Cameron (my ex) for three months and I haven’t seen Andrew for almost six months. 

I wish I had been explaining everything in detail while I was dating Cameron, instead of summarizing everything in retrospect. Posting it all in detail would be too much at this point, but I can assure you there were signs. It was uncanny. 

When I think about how real the signs were, it still shocks me.

I’ve know I’ve been talking a lot about psychics, astrology, and other paranormal misticisms…

It’s really important that I make it clear that prior to all of this wierdness happening to me (truly), that I wasn’t really into this stuff. 

I didn’t follow the signs. They found me. 

They lead to Cameron, even though my relationship with him was a complete disaster. 

So things tanked with Cameron, why fixate on his roommate?

 At some point last summer, the signs started pointing to Andrew. 

I met Andrew on New Years Day. The same magical day I woke up in Cameron’s arms knowing that I was in love. I knew that I had found a person that somehow (despite everything I had been though) vibed with me on a very deep and profound level.

Remember the girl that I thought Cameron was dating when he wasn’t talking to me? Her name is Jade. As it turns out, Jade was never dating Cameron. She is actually Andrew’s ex-girlfriend. 

Jade is significant to the story because she’s a Scorpio (same as Cameron) and born on Halloween. Andrew is a Leo (like myself) and believer in astrology. He even wrote a song called Lionine.

He was shocked to find out that I was also a Leo; in fact, he practically got up from the couch and exclaimed, “Wait! You’re a Leo!” 

Andrew’s relationship had also ended with Jade after only a few months. If you were to ask Andrew what went wrong, he would tell you that it was because of the incompatible astrology.

After so excidedly confirming that I was a Leo too, he also said, “Scorpios and Leos will never work.” He was very blunt about the way he said it.

 Cam and I both looked at him a bit astonished that he would say that, especially with such conviction. Not only was it blunt, it was inconsiderate. He pretty much telling us that our relationship was doomed for failure.

Something about his relationship with Jade definitely reaffirmed his belief in astrology and his idea that Leos and Scorpios simply didn’t belong together. 

What’s funny (or actually really sad) is that it didn’t take long after that conversation for my relationship with Cameron to start falling apart. 

We all went to a music festival in August. Cam and I came to show our support for Andrew, his band was opening for some of the bigger artists.

Cameron himself was handful to deal with the whole day. He was anxious, moody, and downright tempestuous. It was a terrible day for us.

 Later on that evening, we were hanging out with some friends of his that I had just been introduced to. I was trying to make a good impression. He started fighting with me and insulting me right in front of them. It was humlililating.

I couldn’t get over how mean he had been. I tried to interact with everyone and get back to normal, but I just couldn’t. Outwardly, I was definitely quiet and pouty. Inwardly, I was trying hard to choke back tears.

While I’m sitting there still shocked at how negative the interaction had been between us, everyone suddenly became interested in the local circular sitting on the table. 

This newspaper prints a daily horoscope. Andrew perked up and said “Jessica and I are both Leos. Read our horoscope.”

Someone read the horoscope freely aloud and it said,”Your guardian angel is watching over you and guiding you to free yourself of negative energy.”

The words “guardian angel” caught my attention. Even after the group conversation had moved on, I grabbed the paper and kept reading the horoscope quizzically.

It made me wonder if Cameron was the negative energy I needed to purge. It also didn’t escape my attention that it was Andrew that wanted our horoscope to be read in the first place.

Andrew at this time is also sitting beside me purposefully. He would do that often; in fact, I ended up sitting next to Andrew more often than Cameron. Andrew would brag about himself in front of me (I liked it, I could tell that he was trying to show off for me). I also caught him checking me out on numerous occasions.

It was pretty obvious that Andrew was attracted to me. We were attracted to each other. I never let on that I was into him; after all, he was after all my boyfriend’s roomate. I was also still in love with my boyfriend and I wanted our relationship to work.

We went to a bar one night to see Andrew play. Andrew is in a reggae band (which is another oddity), we both really like reggae music. Sunshine music.

His gig just happened to be at a bar that used to be mine and my husband’s special sushi restaurant. We used to live right across the street. It was our best year together as a couple and our first year married. We celebrated the new year at that resturant. It was one of the more outstanding memories of our ten years together.

The resturant itself and that specfic area of Salt Lake holds tremendous nostalgic value for me.

On the way there, I thought of this amazing gas lit fireplace the venue had while it had been an upscale sushi restaurant.

I wondered how the fireplace would fit in now that it was a bar.

Cam and I walk in together. He brings me a beer with his usual shot of whiskey. He picks a table right next to that fireplace. 

Seven years ago, it was the focal point of mine and my husband’s special sushi resturant. 

On this day, to blend with the opaque walls of the dive bar…the fireplace had been spray painted black.

On this day, seven years ago, my husband was dead.

Did this mean something?

I couldn’t help but think that this was some kind of sign, but I also thought that I was starting to read too much into small coincidences.

It couldn’t be a good sign that the fireplace was blacked out.

Not only that, Cameron is not happy to be there with me. Once again, he’s having an anxious moment? An emotional moment? Who knows. I was so over it.

It’s not that I didn’t care, lack empathy, or want to accept him for who he was…

It just seemed like every time we went out to have a good time in public, he would ruin it. I felt like he was doing it deliberately. It felt like he would pick fights with me on purpose at the most inappropriate moments.

He could never just let go just enjoy the togetherness. He seemed to notice every little thing and when any little thing didn’t go his way, it seemed to make him irritable.

It didn’t feel right to be there with Cameron.

Someone else was there…

Andrew. 

Andrew that I met on New Years Day. Andrew was now there at my special New Years restaurant that I shared with my decreased husband.

The same husband who wants me to follow the signs…

As time in my relationship with Cam drags on… I’m slowly wrapping my head around the fact that despite everything, he couldn’t possibly be the person that my husband picked for me. 

I started to pay more attention to Andrew.

…I’ll fast forward to the day that Cameron finally broke up with me…

He had been avoiding me. He seemed cold. Aloof. He said he wanted to talk.

He said he didn’t see where the realtionship was headed long term.

He asked me what my long term goals were, to which I replied, “I’ve dated the world traveler and the mountain climber. I missed you.”

He replied by saying, “That’s exactly why we should break up”.

The harsh reality was that we didn’t have compatible long term goals. Our definition of what constitutes a good life was completely dissimilar. What one person valued in a relationship the other didn’t care about. What one person prided themselves on giving, the other had no need of. It was just off. 

I didn’t see it this way at the time. I did beg and plead with him a little bit. I’m not proud of that, but I was in shock. 

I reminded him of the signs, the immediate connection…

I reminded him of the fact that there was a time when he told me that he would do anything for me. We loved each other.

Didn’t we?

He told me that he wanted to see other people.

I was stunned.

There was only so much I could do. I couldn’t change the fact that he wanted to end it.

I stormed out rather angrily. There was nothing left to say.

A week went by. I was completely wrecked. For two days, I didn’t get out of bed. 

At this point the story bleeds into my Leo/Scorpio post, so I’ll bring the focus back to Andrew.

I didn’t stop thinking about Andrew. 

It’s safe to say that I take astrology seriously now and it’s because of all of the strange things that have happened. The astrology has something to do with all of this.

 I don’t believe in things blindly and I can’t stand people with ignorant opinions. I get why people wouldn’t be into astrology-not believe in it, not care. There’s no impericical evidence to support that it’s a valid science of any kind. I get why it isn’t relevant in someone else’s reality.

Astrology has found me. I’m not sure why. 

I conduct my own experiments on people I know. I see the astrological underpinnings in people now quite easily. 

I’ve looked up several birth charts of friends and compared them against my own. I’ve tested several friends whose sun signs should be compatible with my own: my Aires friend, my Sag friend, my Gemini friend, etc.

I’m still quite novice, but the birth chart seems to make a difference. There can be a lot of negative aspects between charts where the sun signs are supposedly compatible.

My birth chart is almost perfectly compatible with Andrew’s birth chart. 

Every single planet between us creates a positive aspect; except for one, I think it’s the least important? Saturn, I think, is the only square. The diagrams of the charts look almost identical to one another.

I’m not sure if this makes Andrew my soulmate by some cosmic definition, but our charts are so compatible that it would be unlikely that either one of us would ever meet someone so compatible in our lifetimes.

There are other similarities, too. We have similar backgrounds, we are both swimmers (one of the very few competitive sports I’ve ever been motivated to do to), we both snowboard, and listen to reggae music.

Among his Facebook photos, there is a picutre of him wearing a hiking back pack. He is grinning ear to ear with excitement as he looks over an itinerary for his trip to Equador.

There is a warmth that he emanates. A genuine smile. A carefree spirit. He is lounging on the beach in many of his photos with a mai-tai in hand. My husband was a vodka drinker and Cam liked whiskey. The thought actually occured to me once while drinking with Cam, why can’t I date a man that likes rum?

I like rum.

I can’t shake this feeling that I’ve left my soulmate behind. 

I feel fire in Andrew’s spirt. 

His aura is like beach vibes and palm trees.

Like sunshine.

My sunshine.