Unrequited. Heartbreak.

Heartbreak is soul wrenching. I feel like I’ve gone temporarily insane. I can’t control my emotions. I have intrusive thoughts that feel obsessive and compulsive. I’m constantly distracted. They say that the pain of being “lovesick” feels like heroin withdrawal. While I can’t personally empathize with that feeling, I’m inclined to agree with it. I feel physically ill.

CAMERON> 34 years old. Physician recruiter. Charming, complex, ambitious, intellectually sharp, witty, articulate, adorable. First man I dated after my husband’s suicide. He had a mesmerizing stare that made my knees buckle. We had an immediate epic level connection that we both felt was exceptional and mutual. There was a quality about our association that felt almost magical.

I’ve been out of the dating game for awhile. I made some rookie mistakes and broke some of the fundamental laws of attraction. I chased him instead of laying low when I could feel him pull away. His interest in me slowly waned.

Our last conversation ended with hints toward exclusivity, but after that he just stopped making contact. I have this sinking feeling that there is someone else. This man lavishes obsessive and almost stalkeresque attention on the object of his desire (it should have creeped me out but I soaked it up like sunshine), I could go mad with jealously thinking about him pulling out all of the stops for another woman.

I just wanted to meet guys and have a good time–I still DO. BUT Cameron reawakened something in me that I thought for sure was beyond revival. It’s not the first time in my life that something major has shifted leaving an awkward gaping hole full of questions with no answers.   I recall the chilling phrase  …”he’s just not that into you”…

My heart is stone cold now.

Is this goodbye forever kissy face?




4 thoughts on “Unrequited. Heartbreak.

  1. Maybe he was just Mr.Right Now and not Mr.Right,you seem to be an exceptional,funloving ,and affectionate person the one that will truly complement you is out there just don’t look for him just enjoy life and he will find you.

    Liked by 1 person

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